Parodius - what the HELL am I playing?

What the...what?

This is not one game, but rather a whole series.  Luckily, they are all batshit insane, so I can handle them as one big confusing mass.  Another game that I new by vague reputation well before ever playing this.  I love scrolling shooters, and this game was reputed to be very "unique."

That's like saying The Hulk gets a little "cranky" at times.

What the hell, Japan.  What.  The.  Hell.

I'm sure there's a storyline, I don't know it.  In fact, it's almost more fun not knowing.  Choosing from a selection of ships (most of which are not actual aircraft...or sane) you blast out, flying through areas of space, claw machines, bedrooms, candy lands, and other areas of increasing oddness.  There also seems to be a odd obsession with Moi, Octopus, and scantily clad girls as bosses.

She jiggles when you shoot her.  I love video games.  So much.

Seriously, Google "weirdest video game bosses", Parodius will be in the top ten nearly every time, if not #1.  I can imagine some Japanese developer sitting down with a design team:
"Alright, what do you have?"
"Well, we've been working on designs for a new shooter, with a in-depth weapon and upgrade system, and big, complex worlds."
"Excellent!  Now, change all the ships and bosses to animals or girls in skimpy clothes, change the worlds to bathhouses and neon carnivals, and make one of the bosses a pirate ship with...oh...say...a cat head."
"Yes sir!"

When in doubt, make it both cute AND dangerous!

Amid all the crazy, there's actually a very solid game at the core.  The weapons are cool, odd, and actually take some thinking to use to best effect.  the levels are detailed, well paced, and will constantly keep you on your toes.  The fact that you're gunning down Moi in makeup and giant showgirls just makes it so you can laugh when you get smoked for the twentieth time.  What's more, every "ship" plays very different, allowing for a ton of replay.

No amount of screenshots will tell you how odd/awesome this game is.

If you can find this game, play it, be it on SNES, arcade, or any place else you can track it down.  It's well worth the effort, and how often do you get to say you fought off a giant pair of lips with a girl riding a SCUD missile?

I'll admit it, I'm in it for the bunny girls.